Skip to main content

Disorder in the American Courts - Read in Whatapps


These are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts' and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of
staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
________

ATTORNEY: This Myasthenia Gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something you forgot?
________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_______

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how
old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_______
_______

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
_______

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
_______

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town I'm going with male.
_______

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_______

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
_______

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
_______

And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I ., but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

🌿 From Strangers to Friends: A One-Day Trek to Tada Waterfalls 🌿

“Sometimes the best friendships begin with a shared journey.” 🌅  Early Morning, New Beginnings We started our day early —  5:30 AM  — from different places in and around  Chennai . Fifty-three people. All strangers. One destination. One adventure. We boarded an  awesome DJ music bus , and from that moment, the vibe was set. Music played, smiles appeared, and the silence between strangers slowly melted away. 🎶  Ice Breakers, Music & Moving Feet Quick introductions turned into laughter. DJ music turned into dancing. Strangers slowly turned into a  happy, energetic gang . After about an hour, we stopped for breakfast — and wow, what a start! 🍽️  Breakfast That Fueled the Adventure A delicious  mini tiffin combo  awaited us: Idly Dosa Poori Pongal Keerai Vada An awesome breakfast, full stomachs, happy hearts — and we were back on the road. 🌤️  Nature Welcomed Us Perfectly Around  11:00 AM , we reached  Tada . The weath...

Just Being Me — A Life of Journeys, Purpose and Little Moments

A simple story of a woman who chose to live, learn, travel, grow and keep discovering herself. There are some lives that cannot be described by a job title, a designation, or a list of achievements. Mine is one of them. I am  Gayathri Raghunathan  — a professional, a traveller, a learner, a nature lover, a spiritual seeker, a homemaker, a dreamer, and above all, a woman who believes that life is meant to be experienced. I don't have a perfect life. I have a real one — filled with responsibilities, challenges, beautiful people, unexpected turns, lessons, laughter, journeys and countless little moments that have shaped who I am today. And perhaps, that is what makes my story beautiful. 🌿 A Girl Who Grew Up to Become Her Own Person Life has taught me that becoming yourself is a journey. Over the years, I have grown from someone simply moving through life's stages into a woman who understands what she values, what makes her happy and what kind of life she wants to create. I have ...

🌟 Padaiyappa: A Timeless Journey with Thalaivar (1999–2025) 🌟

🎬  The Beginning – 1999 Magic I was in my  10th standard  when  Padaiyappa  released. Wow… wow… wow! What a  terrific theatrical experience  it was. Watching my  Superstar Thalaivar  on the big screen was nothing short of electrifying. As a young fan girl, I loved the movie to the core and admired Thalaivar with all my heart. That phase marked the beginning of an unbreakable bond with his cinema and charisma. 🌆  Life’s Turning Point – Chennai Calling Life took a beautiful twist soon after, when we  shifted to Triplicane, Chennai . Wow… what an interesting turn! From that point on, life showed only  upward growth . Thalaivar’s movies, dialogues, and powerful life philosophies became a constant source of  motivation and strength , guiding me through every path I walked. 🔥  Lessons Beyond Cinema Thalaivar has always been more than a superstar — a  timeless motivator . His journey, discipline, humility, and larger...